How I Work

My Three-Phase Journey to Lasting Change

I have formulated my therapeutic process into three distinct phases, designed to move you effectively from insight to deep healing to optimization.

Phase I: Building Trust and Gaining Foundational Insight

This initial phase will feel like most traditional talk psychotherapy you may have experienced. This is the crucial time where we get to know each other, build rapport, and establish trust. This is where we develop the map of where we need to go.

  • Rapport Building: Like any new relationship, it may take time before you feel comfortable opening up and talking deeply about pain points and challenging topics.

  • The Narrative: We will gather family history, explore your personal story, and process what you are currently going through.

  • Core Modalities: We frequently use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Narrative Therapy, Existential Psychotherapy, Motivational Interviewing, Reflective Listening, Unconditional Positive Regard, psychoeducation around Attachment Theory, and many of the foundational clinical theories we utilize to establish initial understanding. (Feel free to Google these modalities if you are curious.)

The Insight Trap (The "White Elephant Gift")

In this phase, you will find insight, which is great! You will start to understand your narrative, make connections to why you feel, and think the way you do. However, as the saying goes, "Insight is the 'booby prize’ in psychotherapy” (credit to Lori Gottlieb in her great book, Maybe You should Talk to Someone. I like to call it the White Elephant gift). Why?

  • While insight is a key component, insight alone often does not engender lasting change or deeper healing.

  • We can start to change our story cognitively, but the change may not be occurring in the emotional and somatic/nervous system part of ourselves.

This is why Phase II is essential.

Phase II: Deep Healing and Somatic Transformation

Here, we bring the insights we've gained to the deeper work. The insights are the trailheads we need to know in order to begin blazing a new trail. You will bring your story and past history into the process, but we focus on experiencing change, not just thinking about it. In order for the map to come to life, we’ll need to explore the terrain.

  • Mind-Body Connection: We focus on getting beyond the mind’s tendency to "work in overdrive" to solve emotional pain. You cannot think your way out of emotions; you need a direct felt experience.

  • Core Experiential Modalities:

    • Somatic Experiencing: Working directly with body sensations and emotions to release stored trauma and regulate the nervous system.

    • Internal Family Systems (IFS): Healing our fragmented parts.

    • Gestalt Therapy: Focusing on present awareness, experiencing life in the here and now, integrating the mind and body.

    • "Inner Child Work": Healing early wounds (cliché but extremely effective).

    • Jungian Work: Working with your Shadow to make unconscious parts conscious.

    • Mindfulness and Meditation: In order to get out of the logos or solely remaining in “the head”, we need to learn to notice what is occurring and choose to go deeper.

When we have direct felt experiences, the brain can start to make new, positive associations to past pain, and deeper, lasting change can occur. We may toggle back to Phase I for processing current events, but we will always aim to use that as a springboard to return to the deeper work. We don't want to identify with our pain, but outgrow and heal it.

Phase III: Optimization, Thriving, and Maintenance

Congratulations! When this stage begins, we move fully into the optimization stage. We build upon all the therapeutic work we have completed, transitioning from merely surviving to thriving and living a deeper, more fulfilling, purposeful, and meaningful life.

  • Focus Shift: We shift from empowerment-giving (helping you find your own voice) to incorporating elements of coaching and advice-giving as appropriate. Hopefully, you now feel self-empowerment and are standing on your own two feet.

  • Frequency Adjustment: Session visits may move to twice a month, monthly, or quarterly, depending on your needs. We can always increase the frequency when new "life speedbumps and ambushes" occur.

  • Standing on Your Own: You will be able to incorporate a large portion of our work into your daily life. The good news is that you always have support, and we can always revisit Phase I or II as needed, which often does occur.

Frequently Asked Questions