Men’s Social Anxiety Therapy

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Moving beyond the pressure to "perform" in social and professional settings

For many men, social anxiety isn’t about being "shy" it’s about the exhausting mental effort required to navigate social expectations. Whether it’s the pressure to lead a meeting, the dread of "forced" small talk, or the fear of being judged in high-stakes environments, social anxiety can make you feel like an observer in your own life.

I provide tactical, evidence-based support for men across Oregon who are tired of the "social tax" and want to engage with the world on their own terms.

The "Social Performance" Trap

Social anxiety often stems from the belief that you must "perform" a specific version of yourself to be accepted. This leads to a cycle of Hyper-Vigilance, where you are constantly monitoring your tone, your posture, and your words.

Common Signs of Men's Social Anxiety:

  • The "Post-Game" Analysis: Spending hours after an event replaying everything you said and cringing at perceived mistakes.

  • Avoidance Strategy: Declining invitations or leaving early because the "mental cost" of being there feels too high.

  • The Mask of Silence: Being perceived as "stoic" or "intimidating" when, in reality, you are internally frozen or stuck in your head.

  • Physical Indicators: Excessive sweating, a racing heart, or a "blank mind" during conversations or presentations.

My Approach: From Avoidance to Agency

I don’t just "talk about being nervous." We look at the mechanics of how you interact with your environment. My approach integrates Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure Work tailored specifically for the male experience.

Building Social Stamina

Just like physical training, social confidence is built through regulated exposure. We work on "low-stakes" experiments that help you prove to your nervous system that you can handle social discomfort without it becoming a crisis.

Breaking the "Mind-Reading" Habit

Anxiety convinces us that we know exactly what others are thinking—and usually, we assume it's negative. We use Cognitive Reframing to challenge these assumptions, allowing you to focus on the conversation at hand rather than the "internal movie" playing in your mind.

Authentic Communication

We work on shifting from "People Pleasing" or "Performance" to Value-Based Communication. When you know what you stand for, the opinions of others carry less weight. This is particularly helpful for men in leadership or those looking to deepen their romantic relationships.

Why Choose Specialized Therapy for Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety thrives in isolation. By working with a specialist who understands the unique pressures men face regarding status, competency, and vulnerability, you can stop "white-knuckling" your way through social events.

I offer secure Telehealth sessions for residents of Oregon, providing a low-pressure environment to start the work of re-engaging with your community, your career, and your social life.

Frequently Asked Questions

  • It is completely normal to feel a spike in anxiety before our first meeting. In fact, it’s a sign that we’re focusing on exactly what needs to be addressed. To make it easier, I offer secure telehealth sessions so you can start from the comfort of your own home. We move at your pace; there is no 'performance' required here.

  • Shyness is a personality trait; social anxiety is a survival response. If you feel like your 'internal alarm' is going off in social settings, leading to physical symptoms like sweating, a racing heart, or 'going blank'—that is your nervous system misidentifying a social situation as a threat. Therapy helps you recalibrate that alarm so you can be yourself without the constant 'performance' of trying to act normal.

  • Not at all. The goal isn't to change your personality; it's to remove the anxiety barrier. You can still be an introvert who prefers deep conversations over small talk—the difference is that you’ll be choosing that path out of preference, not out of fear.

  • A coach teaches you skills (how to stand, how to speak). I help you address the underlying nervous system response that makes those skills fly out the window when you're under pressure. We treat the root, not just the symptom.

  • While we will explore the roots of your anxiety, my approach is heavily skill-based. We use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to identify 'safety behaviors' (like checking your phone or avoiding eye contact) that actually keep anxiety alive. We’ll work on practical tools you can use in real-time, whether that's at a work meeting, a party, or even just ordering coffee

  • We never do 'flooding' (throwing you into the deep end). Instead, we use Graded Exposure. We create a 'hierarchy' of social situations together, starting with things that feel only slightly uncomfortable and working our way up as your confidence and skills grow. You are always in control of the process.

  • Yes. It often leads to "relational avoidance," where you might avoid difficult conversations or social outings with your partner, leading to feelings of disconnect. Addressing your social anxiety is often the first step in improving your intimacy and partnership.

  • Many clients start noticing a shift in their internal 'inner critic' within 6 to 8 sessions. Because we use Evidence-Based Practices, we focus on measurable changes, like being able to attend a social event without days of 'pre-anxiety' or being able to speak up in a meeting without ruminating on it for hours afterward

Related Services

Sexual Health Support: Explore the connection between anxiety and psychogenic ED.

Patient Resources: Access the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise and book recommendations.

Clinical Referrals: Information for physicians and coordinated care.

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