Episode #74: Connor Beaton: Facing Pain- A Journey into Men’s Work

Written By Miles Salisbury

Episode Intro

In this episode of Miles Ahead, Dr. Miles Salisbury joins Connor Beaton, founder of ManTalks and author of Men’s Work, to tear down the "mask of strength" that leads so many high-performing men into burnout and self-sabotage. Drawing on Jungian psychology and somatic healing, they discuss why the modern man often "nukes" his life as a form of unconscious initiation and how to transition from "white-knuckling" through depression to finding genuine emotional sovereignty. From identifying the "wall of gray" in chronic stress to maintaining relationship polarity without "mothering," this conversation provides a direct roadmap for anyone ready to stop suppressing their pain and start alchemizing it into purpose.

Key Moments & Timestamps

  • [00:01] Intro: Dr. Miles introduces Connor Beaton and discusses their shared background in Jungian psychology and the "wounded healer" archetype.

  • [01:58] The Weight of Avoidance: Connor explains the opening line of his book: "The work of men begins with pain."He discusses how avoiding suffering creates "cement blocks" on a man's feet by the time he reaches midlife.

  • [04:52] Shadow Work for the Collective: A discussion on the Jungian concept that facing your own darkness isn't just self-help—it’s a noble act that alleviates the suffering of the collective world.

  • [07:07] Initiation vs. Destruction: Why modern men often "nuke" their lives (cratering jobs and relationships) as an unconscious, pseudo-initiation in the absence of traditional rites of passage.

  • [12:36] The Ego and Patterns: Breaking down the ego not as a "villain," but as an amalgamation of survival patterns that eventually stop serving us.

  • [16:51] The "War Tactics" of Psychology: Why ignoring your weaknesses is a surefire way to get "flanked" in life, and how acknowledging insecurities actually builds robust strength.

  • [20:23] The Power of Confession: Why the first step to "unfucking" your life is the act of confession—admitting to the things you’ve never told another human being.

  • [23:02] Advice for Partners: How women can support the men in their lives without "mothering" or "pseudo-therapizing" them, focusing instead on the "Permission Card."

  • [28:40] Out of the Head, Into the Body: The struggle of men living entirely in the Logos (rational thought) and how to reconnect with the "felt experience" below the neck.

About Connor Beaton

Connor Beaton is the founder of ManTalks, an international organization dedicated to the personal and professional development of men. He is the author of Men's Work and a specialist in helping men navigate self-sabotage and shadow work.

How to Connect with Connor Beaton

To learn more about Connor’s work:

Work With Me

If this conversation resonated with you, particularly themes around grief, attachment, masculinity, addiction, or relational healing, my counseling and coaching services are designed to support individuals navigating these exact experiences.

I work with clients on:

  • Attachment and relational patterns

  • Grief and life transitions

  • Men’s mental health and emotional depth

  • Nervous system regulation and embodiment

Explore counseling and coaching services or schedule your free 15 minute consult here.

Miles Salisbury
Next

Episode #73: How to Create a Code to Live By with Phil Horning